So, what you are saying is ... there's still a CHANCE ...

From David English's office: Info on Jupiter Rd. property

Received: February 16, 2007.

Mr. Jebens:

Per your request, please find attached the flyer for the Jupiter Rd.
property. The property is currently under contract. If you have any
interest in the property in case the contract falls through, please let us know and we will keep your phone number and email address and contact you.

Thank you,
Liz K---------
Asst. to David English

Information gleaned from said flyer:

Jupiter Lanes, the building: 21,460 square feet

Jupiter Lanes, the spirit that lives inside all of us: (Unmeasurable - what's the symbol for infinity?) (Okay, this wasn't part of the flyer. But it SHOULD have been)

Jupiter Lanes, the land: 2.2274 acres (P.S. 2.2274 is my new favorite number.)

Asking price: $900,000

Traffic count: 18,971 cars per day between Garland Road and Fernald (based on the most recent city of Dallas 2001 traffic counts)

So, contract pending, eh? Well, either that means I'll be announcing a grand re-opening take the skinheads bowling party at Jupiter Lanes sometime in the coming months or else the contract will fall through.

I'm still putting together my group of interested investors in case said contract falls through. I've got about roughly $90 (American) that hasn't been earmarked for crystal meth or disguise kits or trapeze lessons or cigarettes for the orphans and that's ... what? 10 percent or something like that of the money we need to buy Jupiter Lanes outright? Something like that. I'm an idea man, not an accountant. So, what I'm saying to you is unless you've earmarked your own funds for something noble like buying cigarettes for the orphans you need to seriously considering donating to THIS cause. Your neighbors will thank you. Your children and your children's children and your children's children's playmates will thank you. Your co-workers will find you allurlingly sexy. I myself will buy you a drink.

And that's a PROMISE.